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My college is shutting down. My roommate is making me party.
It’s kind of all a blur…
Seriously, if you need someone for the v-card sacrifice, pick someone else!
Oh no. Now my dad’s hot cop friends are walking right toward me.
I’ve wanted them for so long. Craved them…
Now they’re telling me they’re not leaving campus without me. Gulp…
What was that about a v*rgin sacrifice?